Haere rā

In my last post I said good-bye to my dear, dear friend.  Over the last couple of years I have learnt that I need to cry.  I need to not keep everything inside and become a cauldron of bitterness, a hoarder of hurt, a person consumed by anger.  So now I cry when I need to.  It's hard to fight the urge to hold it in.  My instinct is to joke or to distract myself.  I tend to disguise sadness with anger.  I am learning to feel my emotions and to be with them a while.  I am a better person for this.  Well I think so anyway.

I was unable to fly up to my friend's final farewell so I decided I would have my own little good-bye for her.  My daughters and I picked up some helium balloons in bright colours (four for my pal, one to keep for my nearly three year old).  We then headed to the beach and sent them off to the angels in heaven.  I've decided that angels in heaven is how I am explaining death to my children.  I cried lots and then I felt better.  I know my dear friend would have loved this.  And somehow I have a feeling that the idea was her's all along. 

A perfect morning to say "good bye"